I went back to the OBGYN yesterday for another follow up appointment, and also to demand kindly request a low hormone, low impact birth control. A few things kept me very entertained in the waiting room.

First of all, there were two girls, 19 or 20, who were dressed like the Gynie’s office was a night club. Heavy make up, straightened hair, short and slinky dresses.

It was 9:15 in the morning!!! I could not, for life of me, figure it out. Had they not gone home from the (Wednesday) night before? Were they appearing in a commercial for a local hot spot after the appointment? Were they trying to provide “easy access?”

The second thing was an adorable toddler who spent 10 minutes bringing the waiting room toys from one end of the room to my lap, one at a time. She got offended if I tried to give them back to her, or set them down, and smiled flirtatiously when I gushed my thanks. Too cute.

AND, I managed to play with her without once wanting to cry!! GO ME! Am an emotional wound healing Super Star! Give me presents! Or a martini! WOOT! (On a side note, what the John Glenn does “woot” mean?)

As for the appointment itself, I’m finally no longer getting positive pregnancy tests….I may have raised my fist in the air and exclaimed “Thank God!” at this, and the nurse may have then backed out of the door slowly, clutching my chart to her chest as a shield.

But then later, she gave me three free Nuva Rings when the doctor went back in his office.

My criteria for birth control was that it be low hormone, and unlikely to affect future planned conceptions. Also, idiot proof, since I cannot be trusted to take a pill at the same time every day (hell, I can’t even be trusted to turn off the stove after dinner).

(Hi! Let me overshare with you! Pull up a cushion and pour yourself some coffee.)

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