Today was one of those days. You know the kind I’m talking about.

Today was one of those days where it seemed like a great idea to crawl back into bed after my shower.

Today was one of those days where concentration of any sorts took too much effort and made my head and eyes ache.

Today was one of those days where, instead of taking a lunch break, I wanted to quit for the day.

Today was one of those days where my creativity and words got stuck someplace between my brain and the page.

Today was one of those days where tears were always lurking below the surface.

Today was one of those days where the sadness actually took on physical pain, right below the shoulder blades. Like a knife. Or just behind the lungs, like a balloon about to burst.

Today was one of those days where it felt like the edges of my mind were beginning to fray, like a dog’s rope toy. But just enough for me to notice, and not anyone else.

Today was one of those days where it seemed as though I’m doomed to fail, before I even try.

Today was one of those days where I could think of a thousand things I’d rather do than what I’m doing. Of a million things I’d rather be than who I am.

But tomorrow?

Tomorrow will not be one of those days.

Tomorrow will be one of those days where my smile comes easily, and the dog makes me laugh, instead of shout.

Tomorrow will be one of those days where work gets done with time to spare.

Tomorrow will be one of those days where my book seems to write itself.

In short, tomorrow will not be today. Tomorrow will be a good day.

Technorati Tags: Life, Depression, Random

Since the big giveaway announcement, my readership has spiked significantly; and because I am needy and want to feel loved even when I don’t have a fabulous prize to bribe you with offer you, I feel this enormous pressure to write something witty and clever and insightful to keep y’all coming back.

The problem is, though, I don’t FEEL witty or clever or insightful today. I feel distinctly “blah.”

• The house needs to be cleaned, and I feel like I just cleaned it. How does it get dirty so fast? It’s just me and JS (well, and Tonks, and I’m not so sure it’s not her leaving the half filled wine glasses around the house), and we’re both rather, erm, anal about keeping things looking nice. And yet? There’s a thin film of crumbs and gunk on the kitchen counter, a layer of dog hair on the floor, piles of laundry to be done, and general clutter with no place to go. It’s times like this when I think it’d be easier to move than to get things organized.
• Last week I went from the outlining stage of my novel to the writing stage. I think it may have been a TAD premature. I need more detail in the outline, more subplots and character development. I have those things in my head, but I need to put them down in the real world. Also, I changed the age of one of the characters, which is changing the project as a whole quite considerably (for the better, I hope), and I’m struggling with not feeling like this is a setback of sorts rather than just part of the process of being a writer.
• I used to be one of those people who moved every few years. Mostly, it was back and forth between California and Alabama (where my parents live) (and before that, it was back and forth between college in Chicago and Alabama). I’ve been in San Diego for 3 years, and I’m feeling the itch a little. It’s not that I don’t like where I am, I love it. I just want something to be different, I guess.
• I’ve also realized that I’m missing going to church. I wrote a post about 5 months ago about my feelings on the state of organized religion, and the problem is, my feelings haven’t changed. I still need a liberal church, but one that believes in Jesus. I still need a church that’s about love and acceptance, and that shuns fundamentalism. I still haven’t found one yet, but perhaps it’s time to begin the church search again. I know that such places must exist, because I can see how much the culture of faith and religion is changing; the era of “Dr.” James Dobson is ending (hallelujah), and Republicans no longer hold the market on Christianity. I really want to be a part of the movement that turns the church back around, and that’s not going to happen by sitting at home and whining about it.

Technorati Tags: Writing, Life, Faith, Religion

Congratulations to Lori, aka A Cowboy’s Wife (she also writes at My Wooden Spoon) for winning the BlogHer Giveaway!

I hope Lori has a fantastic time, and I’ve made her swear to drink for me (hope she realizes how much this liver of mine can tolerate…tee hee).

It was VERY hard not to pick everyone, which is why I did this contest based on random numbers and NOT based on who deserves it the most. That would have been impossible. Hopefully, my pretties, we can ALL go to BlogHer next year.

Technorati Tags: Blogging, BlogHer

Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend!

This morning I woke up JS and demanded that he pick a number between 1 and 53. He slurred a number at me before rolling over into his pillow again.

The winner of my BlogHer giveaway has been notified via email, and as soon as I hear back, I will make the announcement here.

Thanks to everyone for participating; I’ve checked out the blogs from all the comments and I’m very excited to have some new reading! I hope y’all will keep coming back, even when I don’t have fun prizes to lure you with.

UPDATE:

The first winner, Lauren of Half Deserted Streets, was unable to attend the conference after all, due to work, so I’ve just emailed a second winner. Go check your email to see if it’s you, and then go say hi to Lauren at her blog and cheer her up.