Me: Did she just say “feb-er-airy”?

JS: Yeah. She’s on E, hon.

WordPress automatically logs you out and you can’t remember your damn blog password. Sheesh.

Oh, HAI THERE, readers! How fare you? Things over here at the WonderSpot have been….busy. And rather hectic. And sorta hard.

JS’s mother had a stroke about 2 weeks ago. She’s OK now. She got treatment right away. She’s back in her assisted living home and out of the hospital, which is wonderful.

Then I went and had my teefs drilled. That was fun. So fun I did it twice. What can I say? I’m not a gal who knows moderation.

Then JS broke his foot. While we were walking this beast:

Then she decided to go and throw up nearly 20 times in twelve hours. She’s over it now, so, whatever, crazy dog who eats flies.

I’ve made zero progress on my thesis. I have no idea if I’m just being lazy, or if the story is bad, or if I have some rare medical condition that prevents me from achieving my goals once I’m in spitting distance of them. But it’s discouraging, to say the least. It’s such a horrible feeling, and I have no one to blame but myself.

Things continue to improve, oh so slowly, with my parents. I’m actually planning on spending some time with them around Christmas, sans JS. But it still smarts that things can’t be normal, just because I don’t believe the same things they do.

BUT, not everything has been total shit. I got my totally kick ass T-shirt from Matt Logelin’s Garden of Awesome:

I went to my new Lady Parts Doctor, and he was awesome, and said I had a nice cervix. Isn’t that sweet of him. In all seriousness, though, the whole experience was exponentially better than any of the interactions I had with my old doctor’s office. He sat down at talked with me about any questions I had, AFTER he left the room and let me get dressed again. He gave me two thumbs up to go get knocked up, and reminded me that nothing I could have done last time would have been the reason for the miscarriage.

Speaking of babies (sorta), I gotta play with one last night.

She had cute little toes, that even JS couldn’t keep his hands off of:

And tiny fingers that I may have nibbled on once or twice:

And she fell asleep while I held her:

So, as always, Life found a way to interject some loveliness in with all the fucking shit bad.

And right now I have brownies cooling on the counter, so the whole house smells like chocolate, and there’s a full bottle of wine chilling in the fridge. So today has all the promises of a good day.

Technorati Tags: Life, Health, Pets, Baby

I give up on trying to load videos to WordPress, every time I think I have it right, my page goes all wonky.

Anyway, I was trying to load this video. It makes me happy that other groups are starting to get pissed about the McLies Campaign.

Technorati Tags: Politics, Obama

Last week I went to my first dentist appointment in….well, I don’t even know. At least 5 years, but I’d say more like 6 or 7. I got my teeth cleaned, and, (big shocker here) the dentist discovered so many cavities that he immediately started looking for his spelunking helmet.

I got the first round of fillings today. 4 or 5, all on the right side of my mouth. I may have been a leetle tense during the proceedure, as the dentist and his nurse had to dismantle the armrests and slide the pieces out of my still clutched hands. But, overall, I’d have to say I did OK. Of course, I begged for so much novocaine (I wanted him to be able to light a firecracker in there without me feeling it) that the entire right side of my face was droopy for 5 hours (even my eye…seriously). I slept it off, and went in to work after lunch. I figured that, since I’m in a new area and all, I don’t want to scare my colleages by drooling all over myself and accidentally leaving my tongue hanging out.

I have one more appointment and then I’m done.

Now, all of this, of course, begs the question (I’m sure you’re all just DYING to know): why the John Glen did I wait so long to go to the dentist? The first few years I was able to blame it on the lack of insurance (as I’ve said, Camp wasn’t big on things like “benefits” or “sexual harrassment training”). But, in reality, I’m a big sissy when it comes to my mouth.  I know a lot of other people have dentist phobias, but mine’s different.

The time is 1997. I’m a senior in high school, living with my friend Jen while my parents get settled in The South with my little brother. It’s a study hall period and, as usual, I’m in the Calculus classroom. I signed up for AP Calc, because of some notion that it would help me in college (ha ha ha ha ha) (HA!), and I’m struggling to keep up. Mrs. Thorton makes her way around the classroom, seeing what each student needs. When she comes to me, I tell her I need help with “everything.” Mrs. Thorton laughs, and says she’ll help me last, so we’ll have more time. When she leaves my desk, the boy in front of me, Sean, makes a crack about “you’re why girls shouldn’t even bother taking math.” (I should note that, not that Sean knows who I am any longer or anything, but he was totally joking and just being a smartass.)

I flirt back, with all of my mad skillz, by dumping my water bottle over his head and running out of the classroom.

I get to the hallway, which, like many high schools’, is made of cinder-block, and turn around; Sean is chasing me, but hasn’t realized that I am no longer running.  He runs full tilt into me, and I fly into the wall, bounce off, and land on my back on the carpet. I’m laughing, nervously, probably close to hysterics, while Sean takes one look at me and promptly freaks the fuck out. “Oh my God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh my God.”

I raise my hand to feel my face. It’s warm and sticky, and where my front three teeth had previously been, there are now only ragged shard.

Dr. Brinkley (NOT Mr. Brinkley, kids, and don’t EVER forget it), the Chemistry teacher, comes out of his classroom and promptly tells us off for horseplaing. He tries to help me to my feet, but I’ve also managed to split my knee, and I’m incredibly light headed.

Long story short, I had to get 3 crowns on my front teeth. The first set didn’t look right, so I had to get those removed and a new set put on. (So far we’re only talking local numbing). About a year later, the original teeth are dying and I need root canals, only it doesn’t work, so I have surgery, instead.  Again, while only locally numbed.

Oh, yeah, I also had 3 operations on my jaw. Twice to repair cartilidge damage, and once to just remove it all togeher….from both sides.

So, I’m a little nerovus when it comes to my mouth. And by that I mean, when I left the offfice today, for a few fillings, I got into my car, then re-opened the door so I could puke into the bushes of the parking lot.

Technorati Tags: Dentist, Life, Health

JS and I saw Dark Knight tonight. It was…well, it was a great film. The story was intricate. The acting was nuanced. But.

But…

I know that humanity can be swayed to evil. I know that there is unfathomable darkness in the world. I know that even good people turn - they can make mistakes, or intentionally do the wrong thing. I know that the same struggle goes in in me, too. But I don’t want to live there, ya know? I don’t want to dwell on the darkness. On the evil. On the depravity. And this film was so dark, so very very dark. (Though, there were the two boats that decided not to anihilate each other….that was nice.)

I guess it’s just that I’m already having a hard enough time not giving into despair or anger, and the movie got into my brain. It’s not that I want to stick my head in the sand and pretend that everything is sunshine and daisies, but I don’t want to let the darkness win. I don’t want to surround myself with things that remind me of “the bad.”

Sometimes, though, it’s so hard to see any light at all.

An acquaintance of mine was at the RNC this past week, and she saw first hand the Police State state that the Twin Cities were in. The tear gas and mace used on peaceful protests. The cops barging into homes, sans warrants, and arresting people who MAY have had intentions of protesting.

Former Attorney General, Good Ol’ Boy Alberto Gonzales, is not going to face charges for breaking federal law. Another American Law Maker gets away, scott free and no one seems to notice.

Sarah Palin thinks that the war in Iraq is a task from God (I’m so tired of Conservatives owning religion, faith, and morality; I’m pretty sure, too, that God’s plans aren’t quite that easily known).  She (and this one I take incredibly personally) vilifies women who would seek an abortion after being raped. And yet? So many people love her, and think she’d make a grrreat VP.

After the movie, JS and I talked about the state of things. Of the world. Of the election. I’m terrified of McCain winning, flat out terrified. I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying to have faith that America, as a whole, is as tired as I am and ready for a change, but it’s hard.  It feels like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I asked JS how, how do we hold on to hope that things will get better, and all he could say is “you just have to.”

When we got home,  and I was changing into my jammies (yes, I’m 8, shut up), a Bible verse popped into my head. One I had to memorize for Sunday School and haven’t thought of in years.

“…Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy - keep thinking about these things.”

Does that change anything? Not really. The world is still what it is. But it did show me one way, one very tiny way, to try and fight back…at least against the heaviness of my own heart. And who knows. I mean, if Obama has tried so show America one thing, it’s that hope is a powerful tool to have on your side.

Technorati Tags: Politics, Faith