Y’all? I know, I know. It’s been a while. It’s not ONLY cause I’m a jerk, though. It’s been very busy! I’ve been recovering from vacation! I’ve been buying doggie supplies! I went to Colorado to see my friend Jen and her wonderful family! (OMFG, toddlers are adorable. Probably, I’m sure, cause he’s not mine, but still, ADORABLE. Me want.) I’ve been working! See? Am busy!
I’m beginning to think that my cool TV Blog might be a titch ambitious at the moment. I’m running out of time, ya know? I mean, I love watching TV and I love writing about it, but even a self imposed deadline is making me freak out a little. I may have to nix that blog all together and just write about the shows I watch all nilly-pilly like on this blog. But, I promise to warn y’all when I do in case you haven’t watched it yet. (See, am busy but NICE!)
Speaking of dogs, I can’t wait to get mine. Seriously. I spent a shit load of money at PetCo this weekend on all kinds of neat toys, good (non recalled) food, treats, matching leash and collar (purple!) and a super soft doggie bed that JS crammed himself into last night to make sure it was up to par for the little prince/princess. Of course, JS also pointed out that it’s not like the dog will ever USE the dog bed, since I’m a big softie and will totally bring it to bed with me at the first sign of a whimper. He’s totally right. All I really need to get now is a crate and a baby gate. Oh, and also the dog.
I’ve put some calls in to various shelters and people who’re moving and can’t keep their dogs. I found one that I’d just LOVE to get, but the ad was listed in August (when the HELL did it get to be October? I mean, JUH?!?!) . I’m slightly paranoid that all of the good dogs in SoCal will be taken and the only options I’ll have left are Boxers who want to rip my face off just for looking at it and also might point out the extra padding around my tummy and thighs. I really just couldn’t live with a dog like that, ya know?
In other news, I’ve cut my Lexapro dosage in half. I’m very excited about it, because of the whole weight gain thing and also because I don’t like being dependent on medication for too long (just a personal thing, I know lots of people who need meds long term, so I’m totally not passing judgement). Since The Incident (apparently calling it “the night I was drugged, raped, and beaten” is a little too blunt for my family) last New Years, I’ve actually been doing quite well for some time. I don’t burst into tears for no reason. I’m sleeping without my Ambien (though I have saved a few for the Big Family Event this Christmas; I’m not stupid). I’m eating regular meals (OK, and some extra meals). The Black Cloud is gone most of the time. So I think it’s time to start coming off of the meds. Slowly. And under doctor supervision. I am having a few withdrawal symptoms, mostly at the end of the day when the chemicals are leaving my body from the night before. I get a little nauseous and lightheaded. I’ve also noticed that I’m a tad bit anxious sometimes, but nothing that I can’t deal with. It’s good to be aware of it, I think, so I can keep tabs. I’ve also let JS know so he can let me know if I start acting all unhinged. If I ever feel too down to get out of bed, or I can’t stop crying and it’s not PMS, or I begin to think about hurting myself in anyway, or have nightmares about That Night, then I’ll call the Dr. back and say I need to up the dosage again.
But, so far, so good. Although, the pounds aren’t just melting off…what’s up with that?
I’ve found some place I’d love to volunteer for. It’s a Christian group, but not a missionary sort of thing. It’d be either “babysitting” kids from the shelter while their parent(s) is at some sort of class (life skills, mostly), or tutoring students from the shelter. It’s the sort of thing I did in college and loved. I love working with kids, and there are far too many kids who get lost in poverty, abuse, and neglect. It’ll be nice to be able to make a positive difference in the world again. I really miss it. They have an orientation/informational meeting in a few weeks that I’ll go to and see if it’s a good fit.
I also start class again next month (and here I thought my “break” would leave me bored…where the HELL did it go!?!). It’s my last class in this MFA program before my thesis! I can’t even believe it! I’ve taken it one class at a time, not looking at the big picture because I knew it would overwhelm me. But here I am, 1 class and a thesis away from my Creative Writing degree! What I’ll do with it, well, that’s another matter. My thesis will be to write a novel or a collection of short stories. I’m leaning more towards the novel. I have a few ideas…nothing too concrete, but a few solid ones. I like the idea of self discovery and also mystery…and, natch, these have been done to death, so I have to really think about what makes my story unique. I’m not lacking for fodder, that’s for damn sure.
So those are my updates. I’m sorry it took so long in coming. I’m not planning any more trips for quite some time, so I’ll be able to get back to my regular schedule…of posting whenever I feel like it. But a few times a week has been my overall norm, right?!?! I mean, I’m pretty good at it, aren’t I? AFFIRM ME, PLEASE.